Walking to sunset
I will be the first to admit that it took myself and Steph and few days to get into the “Ashram lifestyle” partly because we had no idea what we were signing up for. We had slept through the first 2 morning chants and during the mornings would take off with Marg to the beach instead of sticking around for yoga class. Since Swami G wanted time to catch up with Marg she invited Steph and myself to drive out to a quiet beach in the Ashram van to watch the sunset.
I sat in the back on the bumpy ride. I couldn’t quite make out what she was saying over the sound of rocks hitting against the bottom of the van and tree limbs scrapping its sides, but nodded along as though I did. I heard something about “filling yourself up to your nose”, ”purification”, “it would really help Marieke with her migraines”. She turned to me and said, “Would you be interested?” I didn’t want to admit that I had not really been listening and I felt somewhat guilty about our lack dedication to Ashram activities other than the meditation class we were paying for and our peanut peeling, so I said “sounds good” which she was thrilled about and the conversation carried on to other things and I tuned out again.
The beach where we watched sunset was as beautiful as she had promised and we stood on the sand as Marg and Swami G chanted to the setting sun. As we returned to the car myself and Swami G fell behind Marg and Stephanie, so I decided to take the opportunity to get some clarity on the session I had agreed to attend.
“I think you’re going to really like it.” She said, obviously happy that I was showing interest in the Ashram’s practices.
“Yes” I said “I couldn’t quite make out all the details in the car, could you go over it again?”
“I will make a mixture of salty water and you will drink it until you are full to your nose and it will purge your body. It is great for the migraines you mentioned, and is also used for anxiety and depression relief.”
“Do you mean a theoretical purge or am I actually going to purge?”
“You actually purge.”
It was at this moment that I realized that I had agreed to take a class on throwing up. Those who know me are aware that I don’t need a class on throwing up. Sure I am not as bad as Audry in Pitch Perfect, but I could probably give a pregnant Kate Middleton a run for her money. During a hangover most people argue with me that I must be simultaneously dying of something else, because no one throws up that much from anything but imminent death. I had no desire to induce it, but it appeared to be too late to back out now so I woke up the next morning with little enthusiasm to attend morning chant and even less desire for it to be over.
Surprisingly I was not the only one to participate; in fact, she had to cut it off at a certain point because she did not have enough buckets of water for all the people who wanted to participate. I told myself that most people must had accidentally agreed to the class since their native language was not English and they simply did not understand.
Learning to puke
The 7 of us who were chosen to partake in the practice, with stomachs empty of food and somewhat full of nerves, watched Swami G prepare our buckets of warm salty water. She specifically gave one to me with much less salt than the others since I insisted that I threw up easier than most people and she did not want it to happen too quickly. How sweet of her.
We each took our buckets behind the Ashram (next to our bedroom window where Steph was still trying to sleep, poor girl) and stood in an outwards facing circle and began to chug the water. Sure enough it took me less than 1.5 litres of water and 1 minute before the water I drank came right back up again, what can I say, a Newfoundland girl sure can chug. Luckily warm salty water coming up on an empty stomach is not that unpleasant. I was told to sit down and wait for the others who were nowhere near their purging point. The downside of finishing first was having to watch the other 6 struggling to bring up the litres of water they had chugged by tickling their tongues with their fingers. The visuals were not nearly as bad as the sound effects.
Despite me wondering if it ever would, the practice finally came to an end with the trees around us good and watered. We went back inside to receive hand outs on the practice and to discover three facts that I found rather devastating:
- We actually had to pay the Ashram 250 rupees ($5) for forcing ourselves to puke.
- There was a plethora of things that I could not eat because my stomach was now” too sensitive” for anything but porridge and bread (I ignore these instructions much to my stomach’s dismay).
- We were to perform the same ritual on our own every day for the next 7 days (another instruction that I adamantly ignored).
When I think back on it, I wonder if it had all been part of Swami G’s bigger plan because after that morning I made sure to attend all morning and evening chants and perform my daily sava so I could confidently decline being signed up for anything else.